An unexpected request

Excerpt from World Lifestyle by Asher Weber on October 31, 2018 at www.icepop.com
Edited by me in blue ink 

It was a normal day for 18-year-old Tyrel Wolfe. He was going about his normal daily routine when he received a rather odd friend request from a woman on Facebook. For anyone who uses Facebook, it is known to happen every once in a while, where more often than not, these "friend" requests are mostly full of spammy individuals. Even though random messages from strangers are common on social media platforms, the woman's profile stuck with him. 

Tyrel kept this unexpected request in mind; just deleted the message, and moved on with his life. He really didn't  put much thought into it at the time. The 'random woman' who sent the friend request was named Joana Marchan, who was a resident of the Philippines. Tyrel had never been to the Philippines in his life. He didn't exactly know anybody by the name of Joana Marchan. After looking through her profile, he realized that Joan had never been to the United States; let alone, his small town in Idaho. 

Tyrel put the entire enigma out of his head, and figured that she may have had the wrong person, or either was a scammer or spammer. He decided to carry on with his life as usual and ignored to reply to the message. For some reason, he felt as though he should have replied. 

Two years have passed since then. Joana sent another request. Tyrel found himself intrigued by this woman's persistence. Tyrel went through this woman's profile once more and still found nothing. Even though his interest was piqued, he now has to know the truth as to why this woman was insistent on reaching out to him. Neither one of them had friends in common. Tyrel was clueless on who Joana was. He couldn't help but get to the bottom of this enigmatic story. 

He wanted to get her off of his mind once and for all. Tyrel mustered all the courage he could to send Joana a reply. He kept it simple and to the point. He replied, "One question: how do I know you?"

She responded rather quickly; but in a form of a question instead of an answer. She asked, "You know about the Samaritan's purse?" Tyrel was sure that it was an organization, but he couldn't recall where he had heard of it. After some thought, it all came back to him.

Tyrel remembered a time when he was a young boy of 7, where he had been a part of a program called 'Operation Christmas Child'; a project organized by a non-profit organization called, Samaritan's Purse.Every year, the organization would pack shoeboxes full of gifts for the less fortunate children around the world during Christmas. These boxes contained things like small toys, toiletries, etc; especially school supplies. 

Tyrel knew what she was talking about, but still didn't understand why she would be contacting him about a program he had participated in as a child. The next response from Joana answered all of his questions. The message stated that she was one of the children, who had been the recipient of his Christmas gift shoebox that year. Tyrel was completely bewildered. He couldn't believe for a second that the recipient of his shoebox would have remembered his name that many years ago; let alone, reach out to him on Facebook. While Tyrel was in awe, other people close to him, were very concerned. 

Everyone close to Tyrel concerned about the situation, were undoubtedly his parents. They all feared that Joana - if that truly was her real name - was out to prey on him. They were afraid that she was trying to gain his trust and deceive him online. They believe that the only way to find out if she was telling the truth, was by testing her. Tyrel did just that.

The only test that Tyrel could think of, was to verify the contents of the gifts.

Even though Joana didn't exactly remember everything that was in the shoebox, she did remember a good portion of the items, which turned out to be correct; yet, it wasn't exactly enough to convince Tyrel that she was telling the truth. However, she did remember one specific thing that was in the box - a photograph. Tyrel recalled that he had placed a picture of himself in the gift box. He asked her to describe the photo as detailed as possible.

Joana's response came as a huge surprise to Tyrel. She wrote in her reply that she had received a photo of "a cute cowboy with a wooden background." Tyrel knew that this photo was the exact one he had placed inside of the shoebox all those years ago. Coincidentally enough, the shoebox Tyrel had sent 11 years ago that one fateful Christmas, made its way to this little girl in the Philippines, who not only received the box, but kept the photo with his name as well. Tyrel knew 100% that she was now telling the truth.

As pleasant as the situation was, there still remained an unanswered question:"Did she have other intentions? Or did she just want to thank him from all those years ago?" Joana thanked Tyrel for the nice Christmas gift. Tyrel believed that even for most people, that would simply be the end of it; but, this was not Joana's intention. She wanted to get to know him.

As time went on, they continued conversing via the Internet. They began corresponding on a daily basis, and found that they each had a lot in common. They were both big fans of Christian music. They continued to keep in touch for almost a year and a half as Tyrel finally graduated from high school and was planning his next steps for his future. He had begun to save up some money and decided to travel to eventually meet with Joana.



Earlier on his conversations with Joana, Tyrel sent her a message to ask if he could visit her in the Philippines. Joana was more than ecstatic to have Tyrel come to visit.

Tyrel had put in so many hours at work so that he could save up enough money for the trip to Manila, the capital of the Philippines. This was his first time traveling alone, and was incredibly nervous. There were so many questions running through his head.

The time finally came for Tyrel to board the plane to the Philippines. After his 14 hour trip, Joana was at the airport waiting to greet him. Joana and her family went to go the extra miles to welcome Tyrel into their home. Tyrel said that it seemed like he was already a part of the family based on the way he was welcomed. There was such a strong connection between the two friends that something special sparked within.

Tyrel tried to stay in the Philippines as long as he could, but as soon as a month had gone by, it was time for him to go home. The two developed romantic feelings for each other; and they promised each other that this visit will not be the last.

  

His trip had already been extended by multiple periods of time, but neither of them knew what to do about the separation. It seemed that it would be difficult to maintain their relationship across thousands of miles. As soon as Tyrel returned to his small town in Idaho, he began saving up some money for another trip. He was determined to go back to the Philippines to visit Joana once more, and pretty soon, he would change both of their lives forever.

  

By the time Tyrel's third visit to Joana transpired, he had learned enough Tagalog, the national language of the Philippines, to use these skills to propose her hand in marriage with Joana's father. Joana's father accepted Tyrel's request, but not everyone in her family was as pleased with the relationship as he was.

 

There was a singular person in Joana's life whose opinion mattered the most. The entirety of their relationship was laid in the hands of Joana's mother. She felt as though the relationship was moving too quickly. She wanted them to slow down, and get to know each other deeper; prior to getting married. Tyrel respected her concern. He understood why she had felt in this manner since he was a foreigner; and that the rest of Joana's family didn't feel as though they were aware of his intentions well enough to agree to the marriage just yet. Henceforth, Tyrel got a little help from reinforcements. Tyrel felt that the situation could be cleared up if Joana's family were able to meet someone from his family. Tyrel convinced his father that it would be a good idea for him to come to the Philippines with him to meet with Joana's family.

Tyrel's father agreed to the request, and he understood that his son was very intent on marrying Joana by doing the right thing. Of course, he wasn't going to just marry Joana without her mother's approval. After meeting with Tyrel's father, Joana's mother finally agreed and gave her blessing for the couple to marry. 

The wedding plans then moved very swiftly; 5 months after Tyrel's proposal. They got married in October of 2014 with a simple wedding at Tyrel's parents' ranch. Joana wore a wedding gown she purchased from a thrift store for just $5, and Tyrel wore a traditional Filipino garment, called a Barong. What made the wedding so special, was what the couple had asked from the guests in lieu for wedding gifts. Joana and Tyrel didn't have a typical love story, so they didn't want anything too fancy. They felt already blessed in the way of how the two have met and how they were brought together as a couple, so it was necessary for them to pay it forward by giving others the chance to connect in the same way. The guests were asked to give to the charity and the needy by bringing shoeboxes with small gifts to be donated to Operation Christmas Child! The organization, which brought them together. The guests were also asked to put a special note in their shoebox; much like the one Tyrel had written for Joana. The notes were actually written to aspire and teach others about good things which can come from helping out people in need.

  

The couple spent their honeymoon taking all of the shoeboxes from Idaho to North Carolina in person. After the wedding, Joana decided to move with Tyrel in the United States and the couple continued their tradition by giving shoebox gifts every year to Operation Christmas Child. Since Tyrel was often required to travel for work, Joana accompanied him and has seen much of the United States. Since she had once lived in a bustling city, adjusting to the quiet country life wasn't necessarily easy. However, she managed to love it with the help of her husband and his family. Three years later, the couple welcomed a baby boy, named Harlann Jun Wolfe. Since then, the couple were still living out their happy lives in Idaho, traveling frequently. They will never forget how they were brought together and their incredible story that followed after. And to think, it was all thanks to a shoebox and a photograph.

The Still, Small Voice

It has been about 2 years and 4 months ago that I have come to accept the compunctious reality of my life as a divorcee. The healing and forgiveness was not only powerful but freeing in a way I can live my life knowing that everything was a blessing in the end.

I learned a lot about myself and how I have dealt with relationships. Once I have separated myself from the destructive environment in living in the past, everything started falling into place. I am grateful to every one in my life: my husband, my daughter and my co-parent. There's a sense of trust and compassion I never knew that could ever existed in the world of divorce.

Even before I began to accept the reality of my deepest regret, I needed help. I honestly poured my heart out to God in anger: "I'm a Christian. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Please help me. Send help. Anything. I don't know if I can keep my promise to you anymore." I wanted to die that day. I was worried about my child. How will she see me? Will she ever forgive me? Is it my job to make her understand? Out of my anguish, came hope. I was referred to a therapist. She gave me a handout, which had some guidelines on how to be mindful to my child's needs. I have never read the book: "Helping Children Survive Divorce", which was listed as one of a handful of resources to read, but the handout was good enough for me.

All I can say about my experience throughout this journey is listening to God's still, small voice. The most pronounced attribute you can find in the book of Psalms. God comes to you when you call and asks, "Where are you?" In my vulnerability, I lie in contemplation of negative thoughts and feelings. The most beautiful thing above all is God's presence enveloping you with love and mercy. The wisdom God provides is so compelling, you just want to go ahead and see where you end up. It's difficult to be mindful of the things you're suppose to pay attention to. It's not everyday I get to sit still, stop for a moment and recollect what I just experience. Most of the times I'm distracted with my impulse to run away - just like Jonah.

I am grateful to where God has led me to where I am now. I'm enriched with wise, compassionate and loving friends who have become part of my spiritual family. A family I had always wanted. Even when we don't see eye-to-eye on some aspects of life, I learned to listen, understand and be mindful of their individuality. I understand now what Jesus meant:

"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven" ~ Luke 6:37

For the longest time I was made to believe that I was condemned to all eternity. I was never enough to be loved by God because I was far from being perfect or to say the least holy. To make things worse, be ostracized for being born an abomination. The past judgments I had received growing up in a Charismatic Protestant Church was not only harsh but demeaning. As a child, resonating with loneliness and rejection was not only traumatizing, but suicidal. 

When God turned my life around on the night of April 14, 1995, I made a commitment to learn more about myself and who I was in God's purview. I had to relearn what it was to be God's child from Jesus' teachings. Who am I?; but a Gentile - someone who used to perceive that God was this ominous deity I had to serve without question.

I asked God a lot of questions. Questions I thought were going to be ignored. God answered all of them. I am deeply humbled. During the time I was baptized, the pastor looked at me in wonder and announced to the congregation, "God has blessed our sister today!" He then held my shoulders to hug me and said, "God has a great plan for you. It's not going to be easy, but there is wonder in your future." Every passing moment, regardless of the outcome or despite my impulse to scurry away in hiding, I was reformed and renewed.

When God sends me somewhere or was guided to meet other people, I am blessed graciously with compassion and generosity. Whenever my story becomes an interest, I share gladly. Sometimes I overwhelm people. Sometimes, I end up blessing people with God's presence. I treasured every moment.

Recently, I have begun to treasure the unpleasant moments. I have been practicing this habit for only a year now. I realize how much I can articulate my thoughts properly when I become mindful, attentive to listen, and be still in the present moment. I'm still clumsy at it. That's the beauty of God's love. There's mercy when you fail; especially when you fail miserably. The divine comedy is that everyone experiences this self-criticism and self-loathing all the time within themselves - regardless of gnosticism or atheism. I thank God everyday for allowing me to be my vulnerable and clumsy self while I continue this journey of self-discovery and enligtenment. 

I hope my testimony has given you an understanding who I am becoming. I apologize in advance if this story has become a resonating broken record. I just want you to know I am grateful to all of you. Thank you for taking your time to listen to my story.

The hero I used to know

I do not usually speak a lot about my heroes because most Christians consider this form of aspirations, idolatry. Yet in the irony of it all, the Christians make idols of Jesus the Christ; in all forms of art and literature.

There was a story of a woman I used to know. She was full of aspiration and determination. She fell in love with a man whom she believed was going to fulfill her dreams. I thought it was a romantic story. I love a good romantic story.

I didn't get to know her well until she poured her heart out to me. The pain and anguish she endured was overwhelming for her that she believed I could make them go away. I was young and single at that time. I did not understand any of what it was like to be married to someone. Believe me, I've read every book on the shelf at my school library to help me figure out what it was like to be in a relationship. I sought wisdom from other married couples. Even in my best efforts, I was rejected for the wisdom I had acquired. Like I said; I was young and single - inexperienced to all things marital. 

All I can tell you that this woman had strength. I never thought a woman with such gusto and stamina would hold onto a broken marriage for so long. I know I wouldn't have. I left my marriage. As a Christian, it's a devastating consequence. An experience I dread to repeat.

I don't know how she's doing right now. All I know is that she left me a memento. A reminder that I can be a woman of strength and dignity. I do not have the need to sacrifice myself into giving in or giving up the things; let alone the values, which I hold dear to my heart. Even in my most vulnerable state of mind and well-being, I can stop to breathe, step back and reflect. Especially asking myself the honest questions:

1. Did I express my thoughts and feelings in a way that was mindful and fair to others and myself?
2. Was I too judgmental in such a way I lost sight of validating other's thoughts and feelings including my own?
3. Was I true to the values I currently stand for?

This journey of self-reflection is not easy. Practicing the skills of being an affluent conversationalist is cumbersome. I'm clumsy at it. As a perfectionist, it's frustrating and infuriating. Then there's a personal spiritual reminder that there can be grace and mercy for not hitting the mark all the time. It's okay because it's not the end of the world. The best I can do is to learn from my mistake, stand up, move forward, and live life. That's the beauty of life in a nutshell.

So, here's to you; Mom. Thank you for being that hero in my life when it mattered the most. There's so much you have missed in my life - all 25 years of it. There's so much we need to catch up on. I hope that in years to come, there's healing and reconciliation between us.

Happy Mother's Day

Unprecedented conviction

Have you ever met someone and the first thing on your mind is to judge the way they look, or how they shake your hand?

Why are those things important to you? Why are you expecting them to meet your standards? What are you looking for? Who are you trying to impress? What gials are you trying to accomplish?

Christianity has come a long way in upsetting the Spiritual balance between humanity and God.

It was written: God is for us. If God is for us, who can be against us. (Romans 8:31)

Jesus said, "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel (1 Corinthians 15: 3-4) to every creature." (Mark 16:15)

As a Christian, what was it about Jesus' story that inspired you? Was it the way he treated women? How he cried when his brother-in-law died? Or was it the way he spoke to authorities?

Have you ever considered that maybe the life of Christ may have impacted your life in which may have brought you closer to God? If not, why is that? What was the lost translation? What have you done about it?

So, who's judging who now? When you realize that you're not so much different from the rest of the world, you have gained so much unprecedented conviction that you're overwhelmed with what to do.

The first step is acceptance. Accept the fact that you are not the center of the universe. You are incapable of controlling your thoughts and feelings. Neither can you or able to control others opinions about you.

The next step is enlightenment. Reflect on the things that happened. Allow yourself a leeway in criticism. Nobody's perfect. It's easier said than done; but healing is a process. It takes time and effort. If you allow yourself to wallow in self-pity, your wounds will fester and weaken your soul, mind and body.

Lastly, forgive. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made. Life happens when you react before you respond conscientiously. You're unprecedented conviction to impose yourself to the world can be manageable. Compromise as often as you possibly can. Choose your words wisely rather than speak your mind. You're capable of achieving this goal. Forgive yourself when you fail. Life was never meant to be easy if you want to live a long and meaningful life.

Nothing in this life is tangible. If you learn to be flexible and adaptable, you're golden. You can be anything you want to be. Every thing will be possible for you. Opportunity will knock on your door.

The next time you decide to inflect your opinions on others, consider the other person's unprecedented conviction towards you.