A sleepless night

Today, I was in a distraught conversation that I could ever imagine possible. It was all the more heart-wrenching since I was discussing about the aspects of womanhood to a genetically born man, who has the utmost integrity of a highly opinionated feminist from hell. Having said that, I would never had imagined that my embracing  and understand the knowledge of the century in which my parents grew up in, would cause so much of a heated debate.

 "A woman's choicest treasure is her virtue; in sacrificing her chastity, she destroys the jewel of her crown; her purity is her strength and protection."

                                          ~ Frank Lentini

Rather than asking me why I would post such an outdated invaluable information, they berated it as sexist. With such harsh implication and accusation that I would condone such a prejudiced view, I confronted them to explain themselves for accusing me so harshly. 

I didn't mention Lentini's arduous concerns for the benefit of men because I literally don't have the physical equipment to relate the concern, nor do I have any brothers to share such a vital piece of information to my Facebook friends. 

As Lentini himself had put it, his sex education was merely for knowledge in the interest of health and science. If one so chooses to be ignorant, so is their folly for doing so. I have never felt so emotionally impaired from a mere acquaintance before. My reason for sharing Lentini's point of view on my Facebook page, was to point out that I was not left out of the loop of this very knowledge. My parents were perceptive people of Science. 

I was merely being grateful to my parents for sharing a vital information during my youth, since not many parents among their circle were very open to such a taboo subject. 

Yet this man, who wants to identify as a Transgender Woman, was adamant stating their argument that Lentini was sexist for saying a woman should behave herself in regards to her sexuality while men were free to do whatever they wanted. 

What part of the quote did you not understand? I never debated the notion of Lentini's work as sexist mainly because everything he wrote about how a woman should keep herself healthy around her genital area could cause grave complications if it was not properly looked after especially when she's with child. This is common knowledge to all female hygiene. I repeat: COMMON KNOWLEDGE of FEMALE HYGIENE. If your womanhood is as dirty as the sewage of Sitarum River, you will not only be sick from fungal disease, you will spread your malady to the rest of your body or to your partner. Considering the times back then, medicine was not at it's peak just yet. It was very important for a woman to keep her well-being in check. In addition to that, it was also important for a mother to teach her son to respect a woman's dignity.

I, for one, having been raised in a Pentecostal family in a Muslim world, drew two important views as to how I should carry myself, the girl that I was, if I were to ever stray from the protection of my parents' care. Everything I have read from Lentini, made sense to me. Reading Lentini's article made me understand why my parents have hectored me throughout my puberty. It made me understand where my parents were coming from. No matter how hard I tried to explain it to this so-called "feminist," I was emotionally turmoiled and unable to make them understand my upbringing.
 
I did best to render my Femininity in a Contemporary point of view to no avail. They did not even bother researching about the information from the shared Facebook post I had uploaded regarding how I felt as a woman or what my perception was as born a woman. Basically, I felt that they were explaining womanhood to me as if they had been a woman all their life. Firstly, they are of the same age group as I was. Secondly, how would they being born male know what it's like to have monthly cycles to experience the hormonal changes of a woman's psyche and well-being? 

Unfortunately, to this young fellow, it was utter insult to women that they would ascertain that we are subjugated to being voiceless. Dude, seriously - right now: your rant is silencing my voice as a woman. You are a Transgender Woman telling me to stop being a chatty woman about men's opinion about women's health. Lentini was a doctor. As all doctors are trained to do, it is their ability to know the aspect of one's health regardless of gender. 

This Transgender Woman really wanted to take their point of view across my world without ever considering where I was coming from or why I bothered with this stroppy information. Never in my life have I ever felt so inferior being a woman much less of an individual with a confident amount of dignity to a man who identifies himself as equal to my gender. I never intended this as a battle of the sexes. I have never so much cried in my life to defend my identity as a woman or my upbringing for that matter. I was beyond grief. I was mortified on how this Transgender Woman made me feel. To bring injury to a salted wound, they took my post and slandered my name across their circle of friends of how stupid I was for even bringing up Lentini's article on how women should keep themselves clean. You sir, have rendered yourself a bane.

DUDE, women have been cleaning themselves throughout the centuries while men were allowed to keep themselves dirty. Only the Jews and Muslim men keep themselves clean in their nether regions. If it were nor for the Christians, personal hygiene in men were never going to be realized save for the Jews and Muslims.

[Edited in] My virtue as a woman has kept me from being taken advantage of. There. I said it. Sigh. This was why I was upset. It's not very comfortable to share this information especially to an acquaintance circle. I had to compose myself during the conversation because it was painfully obvious they had missed the earlier cue of my intended post.

Be it beyond my culture of a community of elders and peers under one roof, I now understand why this has become a subject to be frowned upon among the youth of today; especially in America, whose basis of individuality is considered their human right. 

American youth need to get a grip of their reality. They are not the center of the world. 

I am by far a feminist let alone ever consider myself as one. Feminism in its altruistic sense is to provide information to the majority that woman are human beings too. We fart, we poop, we have "disgusting" bodily fluids as much as men. 

Just the sheer politics involved would drive an introvert mad. I do have a well-rounded sense of identity, despite my strictly Christian upbringing. I am the reason why my parents buckled down harder on my siblings. By giving me the opportunity to have access to such vital information at the tender age of 10, they had caused themselves such a distressing upheaval. All the questions they didn't want to answer. Their only remedy, was to hand me a volume of encyclopedias just to stop me from asking them any further questions about the human body. They have believed that my curiosity would lead me to the dignified path of a doctor of medicine. I still have the dictionary of medical terms, which was given to me as a gift on my 11th birthday. The joy it was then, just absorbing the glorious information about every single organ, from your tympanum to your metatarsus.

Having seen what it was like living in the Philippines, every detail Lentini laid out in his book, made perfect sense to me. There were no ill-intentions of mine to incite this on any women. It was a matter of bringing out my understanding of why people of those times did things the way they did due to lack of Medical Science discoveries we have today. Not many women in the provincial pockets of the Philippine islands have a privilege to come across with such vital information.

Granted the book is old, but for many women of such poverty could make use of it for a start. Believe me, once you educate a woman in the province, they're gone - on to start their own sense of identity. Elizabeth Gilbert can attest to that, since she witnessed it herself during her years living in Laos. These women of such areas, would take it upon themselves to go out and seek more information and declare independence from their close-knit community. A change no elder can nip at the root.

With this view, which I was trying my best to project to this young fellow seemed fallible. Thus, my written anguish of my dilemma. I accept that I cannot win all battles. I do would like to leave myself a sense of relief that I am not or would I ever hurt anyone by imploring others to accept my viewpoint on the basis that my reality is tried and true. I was just simply sharing my world; not my beliefs. 

Never again would I allow myself to be emotionally drained like this ever again. 

A woman is by her own right entitled to her opinion. Her knowledge is her strength to withstand the fervor of little minds that seek to destroy her. 

As a woman, I welcome those willing to become my advocate. For one, this particular Transgender Woman is not. They are by far the most ruthless, unethical and ill-mannered woman I've ever met in my life. Yes, worse than my own mother.

Published 8/14/12

Edited 8/30/22

I am the Ambassador of my own identity

For once, I would like to have people come to an agreement that individualism is not a universal or social polity of one nation. I am proud of my heritage despite the fact I can only speak with my native tongue at a 5th grade level. English has always been my first and fluent language. Be it as it may that I grew up learning English from the Britons, certain Americans (very few) have found my diction very annoying.

Let me give you a brief history of why I wrote this blog. One would possibly think what I actually do with my time other than scroll through the incoherent news feed from Facebook. As a matter of fact, I do spend my time taking care of my child. That, has always been my number one priority. I also ensure that my house isn't in total chaos. It only takes about 3 hours to clean a very small apartment.

First topic from this morning was regarding a principle who gave a good advice to the young teenagers graduating high school. While scrolling down through the comments, there was a young lady criticizing this man for being an adult who doesn't understand "us" teens and then proceeded to tell him about how her life as a teenager was a bust. I did write a comment directed towards her, "Lady, you don't speak for all teenagers." I'm pretty sure, this opinionated teen was unaware that the principal had ever been a teenager. Sure, I tend to rant to my fellow friends and family about my childhood days. I'm pretty sure they're worn out hearing the same old rant from time to time. It's not like I have a way to physically remove all those memories from my brain.

Second topic from this afternoon, was about people being fat, or too thin, gay or straight, people being too proud to wear their religion on their sleeve or too heathen to care about others. As much as I like to say that people are entitled to their own opinion, I will not allow myself to cater to hateful ridicules. I rarely share such ideals on my wall. Okay, I get the message. Some are intended for amusement, some for encouragement, and some posts made were merely due to plain boredom. Truly, I ignore the sentiments of blatant hateful messages about someone's race, color, weight, gender and/or other prejudicial nomenclature. There were few sentiments I had made where I took a stand to declare their point of view unethical and biased. When I do make comments, I do so by not addressing the general public of what I think "my" people would feel about their sentiment. As a rule of thumb, I do not speak for all people. I speak from experience. Even then, people tend to misconstrue the intention of my comment.

Last topic for this evening, was a blog from a Korean author who reviewed the upcoming movie, 'Cloud Atlas.' I have yet to read the book or watch the movie for that matter, but as an aside, this author, who had been adopted by American parents, has a racial stint about Hollywood's facet with Asians portrayed by Americans. Thank you for pointing that out, Captain Obvious. I certainly wouldn't have known. Hollywood has a style of theatrics they enjoy portraying. Unless you become rich enough to own all of Hollywood, you can be their guest to change their point of view around on how Asians as a whole should be portrayed. We are talking about 55 Asian countries. I did an intensive research on this author just to prove myself wrong from the assumption that he was ever raised by his natural parents. To much of my disappointment, this guy had never lived or set foot in Seoul; let alone raised by his natural parents. His only saving grace in his opinion was, that he married a South Korean born woman. Seriously, you're living vicariously through your wife's experience to make a stint about Hollywood's depiction of Asian people? He should know by now that in this day and age, American people have grown culturally aware of different ethnicities living in their country. Have some fucking gratitude to your American parents. Do you know how many Asians stereotype "Banana Boat" Chinese Americans? That, is as foreign as you can get: a lot of Communist countries expect their descendents to respect their elders. From what I have been reading from the Census (since I did work for them), more Americans are accepting the idea of inter-racial marriages. Hollywood isn't the only Film Industry of the New World.

Yes, I am aware that I am culturally different from other Filipinos. As much as I understand the sentiment this author has portrayed, he does not speak on my behalf or for the rest of Asia in that matter. Believe me, I've met very few pockets of places where Americans get hostile toward someone who isn't a "White" person or born as a "White" American. If he seriously wants to address people by color, he should have at least identified himself as an American of Asian descent. Instead, he identifies himself as a Korean person. You sir, are a fraud. I don't proclaim myself something I am not. I am a Singlay Filipino. I did not grow up in the Philippines. Therefore, I have no leverage on any political opinions of the Philippine government nor the insight of a Filipino culture as a whole. I was raised to be American despite my familial residence in a Foreign Muslim country outside the U.S. Even then, I am oblivious to American culture. There is none to speak of. America is a conglomerate of  Latin America, Refugees, 19th century Pilgrims, British Colony migrants and African Enslaved Captives.

So why bother ranting about another guy ranting about race? Honestly, that wasn't my point. The fact of the matter is, I am an individual. I have my own point of view, my own moral values and responsibilities, including my very own cultural lifestyle. Sure, there are some family traditions I've kept to pay respect to my heritage and ethnicity. I'm still me regardless of my skin color, cultural background, ethnicity or ethical values. 

After a long haul of trying to think up of something to get the excitement off my chest, I just ask myself what is it that I am really passionate about? This may sound egotistic to some people but, honestly who doesn't think a lot about themselves?

I am important to myself as much as I give importance to people I love and respect. I may be an individual, but I play an important part of my life in this world. That is to be: ME. I am defined by the way I treat others and how I relate my opinions to the public. That, is all.

If you want to rant, go ahead and rant. Vent as much as you like. But don't generalize the subject as if the whole community has appointed you (the aforementioned people above this paragraph) to speak on their behalf. Honestly, who died and made you our representative? 🤔

Published 8/8/12

Edited 8/30/22