It seems religion has been a main topic among my friends
yesterday. I was thinking about what they had said and thought it through.
Before you speak, think and ask yourself, "Should this concern me or
not?" If it does, please feel free to move on to something else less
"stressful". If not, you're welcome to continue reading.
I may have been raised to believe in God, a divine
omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent Supreme Being to whom we owe our
reverence to. However, I will never intend to indoctrinate you or insist that you believe the same doctrine I do. In addition to this belief, I was coerced to acknowledge that Jesus the
Christ, is my Lord, my savior and my god. With this confirmation of belief, I was informed that I would
be blessed by God's Holy Spirit, who will guide me through my trials and
tribulations until the second coming of the Christ.
Here's where I draw the line. When a believer of Jesus' teaching acts outside of God's grace, their faith will undergo scrutiny based on their behavior and the way they treat others.
I was only 10 when I overheard the pastor exclaimed to his wife, "We have enough money to buy the expensive rice cooker we wanted," while counting the donation money in the privacy of his office. The reason I was there because I had a question I wanted to ask the pastor's wife. After learning this indignant act of stealing from the Church, I decided to take my $5 back. I was obligated to tithe my New Year gift in the coercion made by my mother during the sermon service, so I could receive God's blessing. In my 10-year-old mind, I was bewildered by how God could bless me since my money was going to be stolen by the pastor, instead of my money going to God. Look, let's be realistic here. If you tell your child that their gift money is going to God, and your child trusts your word, it better be true.
The adults didn't see it that way. I was accused of stealing the $5 I gave away in good faith it was going to God. That's strike 1, for the church.
As I got older, my parents kept going to different churches wherever we moved. We moved a lot. Whatever my parents were dealing with the church members, it was obvious to my 12-year-old mind that the pastors conducting these services were doing ungodly things. I overheard my mother involving herself in the gossip that a pastor had molested a lot of children at Sunday School. Whether it was true or not, I did not want to find out.
My mother had the discernment to prevent church leaders from harming us, her children, but the moment when it came to my sisters' and my safety at home, among her friend's son, her precaution goes out the window? Go figure.
I know most of you might wonder where I will be going with
this. This is much as I know: God is Love, God is Peace, God is Just and God is
our Strength.
Before I go on any further, I would like to add that I
wasn’t aware of the importance of knowing God during my weaning years. All I remember was my mother telling me that if I wanted to be in her good graces, I needed to believe that Jesus was my savior. It would also mean that I would be accepted as a good child instead of a disobedient child.
I trusted my mother with every ounce of my soul. As time went by from my adolescent and teenage years, those words eroded through my soul like nitric acid on copper plating.
In 1995, I truly understood what it was to be a true
Christian. No matter how often I reminded my mother of my
renewed faith, I was still deemed unworthy. Unfit to represent my family's legacy. For whatever that meant, I stopped believing the words that came out from my mother's mouth. They were poison to my ears. They still are to this day.
She would use God's laws against me. The advantage I have over her was, I knew God's words in my heart. Even if she quoted Bible verses to me, her interpretation of the message never rang true. Why else would God go through so much effort to find people (Elijah, Jeremiah, Isaiah) to
convince me otherwise?
I am still a work in progress. Considering the road I came
from, I’ve actually gone further than I would have expected. The spiritual journey I started in 1995 was not only challenging, it was exhausting. I was weary all the time. After various and numerous counsel from all walks of life, regardless of the faith of others, I have learned so much. The only one I am
accountable to is God; and God alone.
I’ve been studying the Bible since I was seven. Whether my mother intended to accustom me to her way of thinking, she failed to recognize God's power over the Bible verses she had me memorize every minute of my day. I’m still
learning new things from God to this day. Imagine that!
As much as I would like to believe that there are Christians out there like me. It’s not everyday you get greeted warmly by Christians since you either have Christians tell you:
- God wishes you to hell
- You need to stop sinning and repent
- You need to die
Truly? I don't think that was Jesus intention when he said, "Go make disciples." Imagine going to school and be greeted by a teacher in that manner. Disciple means to be instructed by teacher or a student of a teacher or to be a follower of a philosopher. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Is this truly what
Christians nowadays interpret:
“Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15)Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:16)
All I’m asking is, “Why is it necessary to be vindictive of
others who do not believe in the way you do?” There are plenty of people out there
who believe in God. The relationship in one's spiritual journey is between God and the individual.
We all struggle within ourselves to fight for what is true
and right. I would like to hope that what Christians have done here on earth, would also greet us in the same manner into our next life with God.
As a matter of fact, I’m not vocal in regards to this
subject because most of the time, it’s not warranted. Here's an example. When we arrived in the United States, our mother's brother, drove us to the Shipping Depot to pickup our belongings. In the midst of waiting, my mother told me to discuss my newfound "conversion" to Jesus. As I was going through my testimony, my mother kept interjecting her interpretation of my life experience. I was so distraught and upset, my uncle told me to stop. He firmly proclaimed to his sister, "Whatever you're doing here, it's not going to work. I'm a Christian as much as you are. I was born a Catholic. I will die a Catholic." I cried even more. I wanted to share my testimony just as I have experienced it; not the way my mother insisted how my life story should be. If I was given a chance with my uncle again, I would do so without my mother present.
Does that make me
hypocritical about the verse I had mentioned above? No. I live by example –
just as Jesus had done so during his ministry.
There are a lot of pain and suffering in the world. I don’t
need to feel justified to add more to the problem. With all things considered,
from the time I was baptized as a born-again Christian, I never looked back. I was truly committed to my vow with God and I told myself I made a wrong choice for wanting to end my life. My faith is as sound as any other religion
in existence.
I leave you with this message I still hold true to my heart:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you”, saith the LORD, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:11; King James Version)
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:28-31)
If you come to me with a problem, I will do my best to help you with what I have. I am not my mother. I will not coerce you in any shape or fashion that you need to believe in Jesus as a prerequisite for obtaining my help. I don't need to prove to you that I am a trustworthy person. You just know by the stories people say about me.
My faith is action-based. The only time I have sworn under oath in the eyes of God and men, was when I took that step to become a born-again Christian on April 16, 1995.
Written 1/31/12
Edited 6/17/15
Revised 8/31/22
