Have you ever come to a point in your life where you feel the most downcasted? It's as if the world stopped caring about not only you but everything else on the planet?
Then your mind starts to wander where the point of your life is going? These internal arguments happen every single day especially when I'm asleep. I'm not depressed when it comes to my life and relationship with God. My heart bleeds for those who are powerless to "speak" for themselves. The treees, the animals, the young, the widows and the need. I barely have the resources to help but I do try my best to help with what I have. Even when I have given my best and my all, most of them, are not the very least humble or grateful.
This is where my depression starts to spiral with the 'what if's and 'wherefore's. It is really difficult for me to grasp that people of different environments of the least could have the worst demeanor as those with the most. I learned that this behavior is only prevalent in countries governed by the most ruthless and heartless leaders. I don't have a degree in psychology but the psyche of being indifferent is there.
I've been indifferent before. I get the part where you see yourself battling the odds of investing your time and efforts against those obstacles. Yet, in the madness of it all, the efforts outweigh the outcome. At some point, it's futile to continue. The part where it becomes overwhelming, how do people still choose to use the same demeanor when it never worked in the first place?
Is it pride? How much dignity does one attain by being cynical or maniacal towards another living or sentient being?
I know for certain that religion does not and never has resolved any issues. It chooses to divide and separate the masses than unite and connect with love and grace. God knows, that the most pious and fervent servant has little to no charity towards those who are in need. That was why prophets were sent. Despite it all, God sent their one and only Son; only to be beaten, insulted, degraded and killed.
Just imagine: the parable of the prodigal son. Christ is the eldest child. You are the youngest child. After all your insolence, Elohim welcomes you home.
Sadly, not many humans are capable of giving grace. I am aware of my humanity. Society and religious leaders have conditioned us to think we are not equal nor righteous enough to receive the best things in life, in which Elohim gifted us. Christ came for a reason to free us by showing us the truth. Unfortunately, some failed to share the simple truth; while others distorted Christ's teachings to gain the glory for themselves.
As James, son of Alphaeus wrote, "Do not err, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and [comes] down from [Avi HaMe'orot], with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not [their] tongue, but deceiveth their own heart, this man's religion is vain. What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." (James 1: 16, 17, 19, 22, 26 and James 2: 14 - 17)
As I have mentioned from my earlier year blog posts, I'm not here to convert you to Christianity. I am here as your sister, mentor, friend and confidant. I want you to know that I live by example. As God's Gentile child, I will respect you as you are. My merit of faith is not my country's religion but in El Yisrael. Not many Christian brethren share my relationship with Elohim Avinu. El Shaddai comes to us in different ways - more so in normal every day activities than you are aware of.
Even if you feel like I'm preaching, stop me. I will understand. It's not going to hurt my feelings. If you need help, just know that I'll be there without question. I may still wonder about your intentions and/or motives. Nevertheless, my service is available to you when you need it the most.
Let's be honest. There's so much hate in the world already. It's not my sole purpose to make it even harder for you. It is my God given gift to be there for you and to bless you with the gifts they have given me. After all, sharing (love, joy and peace) is caring.
