“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” ~ St. Francis Of Assisi
People do not realize that darkness is not evil. It is the absence of light. It brings the balance of life itself. Darkness is for rest, rejuvenation, healing and restoration. Darkness absorbs light. Light varies in formation.
Darkness doesn't extinguish Light. It holds it in place. If you ever find yourself in total darkness, let your light shine. Very few people realize they have this ability. It is written in the book of Matthew, if your light is darkness, then great is the darkness within you.
I was in the darkness for a very long time. In college, I learned about the allegory of the cave. Even to this day it beguiled me. So many questions that were never answered:
Why can't the prisoners turn their heads?
What were the crimes of the prisoners?
What are the consequences for the prisoners if they face the campfire?
Why are the puppeteers by the campfire?
Are the puppeteers supposed to entertain the prisoners?
Why would Plato assume that the shadows became the prisoners’ reality?
Was Plato teaching his students that he could read the minds of the prisoners?
Was Plato one of the prisoners?
Is the reality for the prisoners being imprisoned for life? Or were they held against their will?
What is the premise of their imprisonment in the cave?
Even after my professor reviewed my summary of this pointless exercise, he eluded that I missed the point of the lesson.
What exactly is human behavior? Have we become so blind to the simple truth that we are mammals as much as the next evolutionary primate?
For eons, a single organism broke the process of entropy. It evolved into different types of species. The oldest written record of human existence was found in Egypt and ancient Sumer.
If the Torah wasn't written after the 2nd destruction of the Jewish temple, wouldn't you think the Jewish oral tradition would have suffice as a trustworthy source of information?
I have played “Pass the message” game many times. Sure the possibilities of another person, who received the message, would put their own spin to it, but did the message lose its original content?
Let's state that what happened in the Garden of Eden was fact, wouldn't it suggest that each one of us were born with the knowledge of good and evil, and the power of the tree of life?
If you were paying attention to your children's development, wouldn't you have noticed which child you could guide to do extraordinary things while another child of whom you were incapable of persuading to make good decisions?
No, I'm not an expert in psychology. I was born into violence. I lived with my abusive parents for 21 years. I was beholden to my parents’ biracial cultural traditions for another 20 years. In parallel to the Exodus story, I was wandering in the desert for 40 years.
I spent that lifetime writing my experiences in Blogger. My current husband is a very private person. After reading my Blogger posts, he suggested I delete them. My therapist suggested that I keep them in another location. I was grateful that Blogger has a “Revert to Draft” option.
The difference between reflecting and ruminating is progression. Reflecting leads to progress whereas ruminating leads to hopelessness if you allow it to do so. Regressing to a state of hopelessness and melancholy will only trigger the traumatic experience.
If I'm being honest, I was against removing my journal entries. Even as I write this post, it made logical sense to do so. As Dr Ferruci stated in his book, “Eliminate something superfluous from your life. Break a habit. Do something that makes you feel insecure. Carry out an action with complete attention and intensity, as if it were your last.” However, I was emotionally invested in sharing my story.
If people could write an autobiography or a memoir of their life, why couldn't I do the same?
I was 42 when the meaning of life came to pass. I admit I was angry with my parents. They failed to realize that it wasn't seething hatred and contempt I had against them. It was their hypocrisy and delusional sense of self-awareness. They were the ones who made the world believe that I was inherently evil.
No one was born inherently evil. If we truly are spiritual beings, then we exist as matter, which can take many forms – solid, liquid or gas. It takes a lot of energy to transform into a physical property of matter. Whether we are expending heat or light.
As a follower of the Messiah and servant of the God of the Universe, it is my duty to share the truth. We are worthy of salvation and redemption. It is written, “To anyone who calls out [My] name, I shall be their God, they shall be my people.”
Each and everyone of us has a choice. If the allegory of the cave makes sense to you, by all means break the chains, ask for forgiveness, discern what is true and righteous, and step into the light that sets you free from oppression. Start living to your fullest potential.
It's not every day you can wake up from the comforts of a nice warm bed, good food, and a cozy place to stay at. I have seen so many homeless people. It is beyond me for anyone to be complacent with being dependent on the kindness of strangers.
As a woman, it's challenging to be kind to strangers. I had several encounters of men pushing me into a corner begging for money.
If kindness has falseness at its base, it is no longer kindness. It is labored courtesy. ~ Pierro Ferruci
The reason why I am still alive was because of how I was raised. It was very easy to manipulate men into believing that I was not worth their time. Why would a poor homeless man beg for money from a poor single mother?
There was one occasion where that explanation didn't work. The beggar's mistake was he blocked the door of a restaurant, where patrons were supposed to enter from. When an employee saw what was happening, she called the manager. The beggar took off when my husband came to my aid. Even though I was offered a free meal for the inconvenience, it didn't absolve my fear.
If anyone was truly in need, they wouldn't be so pushy or demanding to the point of physically violent. It's also sad to see women, who beg on the streets and depend on the kindness of strangers, tend to always manipulate the situation in their favor. As for the men, they always resort to violence.
The only time I have ever truly rejected being kind towards another person was a 58 year old woman I encountered on the bus. The design of the bus here in North Carolina favors disabled persons of all ages. The disabled seating is 3 and a half rows in front. I sat on the last seat of the 3rd row since the two disabled rows were occupied by a paraplegic in a wheelchair. The half row of seats were taken by a disabled person with crutches, a pregnant woman holding a toddler, and an elderly person (looked about 75 years old to me).
All of a sudden we heard a woman yelling at the top of her lungs. The bus driver convinced this woman that the bus cannot kneel any further to the ground. The wheel would rupture at the weight of the bus that was already 50% full. The bus driver firmly told her that he had a schedule to run.
She demanded for a ramp. The ramp for the bus in question wasn't designed for transporting people. You can call me cynical, but I was anticipating for the ramp to be used, so I could see her fall on her ass and break open her skull on the asphalt.
She continued to yell and protest — threatening to sue the bus driver for emotional distress and trauma for not attending to her physical needs as a disabled person. The bus driver gave her an ultimatum: either get on the bus or wait another hour for the next bus to arrive. She begrudgingly got on the bus by dramatically extending her leg onto each step.
After she paid her fare, she fixated her eyes on me. She yelled, “Why are you sitting here? This is for the elderly and disabled people!” I laughed nervously and told her that I am a disabled veteran. She yelled louder, “You're too young to be a Veteran – let alone be disabled! Get off the fucking seat that is meant for people like me!” I told her that I could show her my Veteran card to prove to her that I was a 40% Disabled Veteran certified by the Disabled American Veteran organization or I could take my pants off to show her my leg braces (I was wearing shorts underneath my pants). That was why I was laughing nervously. Does this lady really want me to prove my disability in public? (A very common occurrence in Asia where old people antagonize young patrons at public transportation systems.)
Someone from the back of the bus yelled, “Show her the badge! I'm a Veteran too. I'm 23!” The woman looked around to see everyone on the bus were shaking their heads - including the paraplegic. She realized then that the wheelchair had taken the first 2 rows. In other words, the normal rows of seats were already full of disabled and elderly people (people much older than her). Out of embarrassment, she said she'd find another seat. The Vietnam War Veteran behind me patted my back. “That was very brave and considerate of you instead of returning that nasty energy.” I shrugged – I couldn't be any other way. Legally impossible to sue me if she was not legally disabled.
She didn't deserve my kindness since she antagonized the bus driver. Everyone on the bus felt uncomfortable around her. Her maladramatic episode caused the bus to be late from its expected schedule. “Thanks to you, I'm late for work!” One passenger said to her as they departed the bus. I could tell from her psyche she didn't fare well that day. The scowl on her face grew into a grimace. All I could think about was how she could have deluded herself into believing that she was entitled to the kindness of strangers.
In order to receive genuine kindness from strangers, you have to exude kindness within yourself. Understanding the concept of kindness is like explaining love — as if it's something that can be academically taught.
You are either empty or whole. If you are empty, then you have a choice. You can either choose to fill yourself with good things or fill yourself with negative things. Never allow your emptiness to envelop those who are already full of life.
To be human is to evolve from basic instincts to light of the cosmos. Oh, what a joy it is to be among the stars in the heavens of the Universe.
Yes, I consider myself a Christian. I believe in all things because of love. Just because I am full of love, it doesn't mean I will allow others to suffer during my watch. I will lie, cheat, and steal to protect and save a life. I've done it before. I can do it again.
How you choose to be in this life, will determine what you end up becoming: heat or light. I choose to end up being the light for the world.
What's yours going to be?
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