The Power of Forgiveness

 Would you believe me if I told you my story?

If you came here to read my story, I thank you with all my heart. It's been long overdue for me to share my story. I've been discouraged to share it because it may offend a lot of people. I say this, "Let them be offended. This story is for the people, who are in need of hope and encouragement."

I was born to the arms of a beautiful woman and a quiet man. Thus, I was earthly named, "Beautiful Peace," in my ancestor's native language. I remember my mother's joy when I came to the world. On the 3rd day, she dedicated me to her god. I will spare you the hardships I experienced and witness under my parents' care and upbringing. All you need to know is, the household I grew up in, was full of violence and abuse.

I grew up conflicted and dissident by the way I was treated. I summed up the courage to challenge the god, my mother calls, "the big bully in the sky." The answer came unexpectedly. I was beyond humbled. I felt unworthy because I wasn't Jewish. Yet, the God of the Universe heard me. He sent a lowly Catholic boy, who understood God's love more than I was nurtured to follow. I vowed to dedicate my life to God and asked permission to have the Messiah teach me and lead me personally.

As a very young "Christian," I had hoped my parents would be so proud of me for accepting such a Spiritual calling. To my disappointment and shame they were not. After 35 years wandering in the desert of my humanity, Hashem led me to his people. El Shaddai Elohim be praised; they accepted me into their community to learn the Torah with them. I have begun to understand what the Messiah has been teaching me all along.

Forgiveness is a challenging process. It is not up to us to judge the person who afflicted us, because we are no better than they are if we seek vengeance. Yeshua taught his disciples that we forgive others without limit. 

For as long as I can remember, I have forgiven my parents. After 24 years of aloofness from my father, he called me and asked me to forgive him. The joy of my soul was satisfied but was crushed a year later when he passed away. I had to forgive myself for hoping and yearning that the reconciliation with my father would be fulfilled. 

In regards to my mother, I set boundaries after boundaries only to be mistreated every single time I forgave her. I finally offered this burden to Hashem for it is beyond what I can bare. I have grown weary of the disparagement and impiety. 

I am forever grateful to my daughter's father. He has been a courteous co-parent since our marital divorce. After 18 years, when I connected with him; I learned he forgave me for leaving him. Even though our marital status can never reconciled, he always respected me as a friend. How fitting of him to say that since it is the name I am called by Hashem. 

As Faby and Carlo puts it: "Forgiveness is an act of kindness you do for your own benefit, not others'. It is for your peace of mind and no one else's." To some extent that is what the human understanding of forgiveness is. As Dr Piero Ferrucci states in his book, "My thesis is that true kindness is a strong, genuine, warm way of being. It is the result of the interplay among several qualities, such as warmth, trust, patience, loyalty, gratitude, forgiveness, and many others. Without even one of these qualities, kindness is less convincing and less true."

Yeshua takes the process of forgiveness further. Take for example the stories of Joseph and Job. The parables of The Unforgiving Servant and the Prodigal Son interrelates to their stories. I am aware I am only human, but that doesn't make me unworthy of being redeemed. 

The point I'm trying to make is that it doesn't matter what season you are in your life. God will come to you in your time of need. When you are called, are you going to answer or are you going to run away like I have (for 35 years)?