How much of yourself would you sacrifice to be with the one
person you love and care about? Would it be every fiber of your being? Would it
just be enough to carry you through the relationship?
Love is not just a feeling, but a character all on its own. The
complexion of love extends a level of understanding by being considerate of the
other person’s feelings, needs and aspirations.
I’m clearly not an expert on this subject. However, I do
know society has made us believe that the taboo of intimate relationships as a whole
is superficial. There are certain people I know of whom, in fact enjoy playing
games in relationships. People with a mindset such as these, tend to make me cautious,
paranoid and aloof. Admittedly, I could have waved my hand and tell myself that I have moved on. It’s a lot easier said than done.
Forgiveness is not something I hand out freely. It takes a
lot of courage to forgive someone who caused me so much pain and suffering.
Gloating over their misfortune doesn’t seem to gratify the solution of my liberty.
The last thing I want in my life is to ruin a wonderful relationship
with my best friend, who has been my husband since I left my child's father.
My best friends from high school are probably right; I am thinking way too much
about this.
The simple thing to do is to just forget about it. That’s my
problem. I can’t seem to forget things. I remember everything like it happened
yesterday. Whenever I am reminded of the things I should forget, the past
memories recite itself in my head and in my dreams. Being the impetuous person that I am, it
takes me a while to drop the subject. Poetry and writing have become my only outlet. Singing the same old song can get old for
some people.
If there was one wish I could ask for, it would be this:
erase my memory. I would rather re-learn the good things about my life than
remembering why I want somebody to just understand me for who I am.
The reality of it all – I am the only person who can
understand me. I am the only person who is able to make me happy.
Published on 7/25/12
Edited on 08/30/22
