In ethics and value theory, perfectionism is the persistence of will in obtaining the optimal quality of spiritual, mental, physical, and material being.
Perfection means more than—or something different from—happiness or pleasure, and perfectionism is distinct from utilitarianism in all its forms. A society devoted to perfectionist principles may not produce happy citizens—far from it.
According to the Torah, God asks Abraham to "walk before me faithfully and be blameless." (Genesis 17:1). Perfection does not mean being without flaws, as Abraham first imagined. Rather, it means that you must be willing to admit your flaws and allow God to perfect them. This is how the Rabbis interpreted circumcision. If you read the passage, God wanted Abraham to show faith to the covenant of being the father of many nations (Genesis 17:10-14).
In the Exodus, Moses announced to the new generation of Israel that they must be blameless before the Lord their God (Deuteronomy 18:13; 32:4).
The passages afterwards, Samuel (2 Samuel 22:31), a 9th or 5th Century Psalmist (Psalm 37:37), King Solomon (Proverbs 2:21) all attributed God to being perfect and good.
In Jesus' sermon on the mount of Beatitudes, he exclaimed, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Matthew was a Jewish tax collector of the Roman hegemony. Since Capernaum was a multicultural location, he wrote in Greek. 'Telios' is a Greek word for "complete," which was translated into Latin for "perfect."
The one thing He didn't have before creation was a relationship. He was alone. What He wanted from this world was a relationship with free beings. So He created us and gave us ways of connecting to Him - love. He didn't need a relationship — He wanted it.
When we have a relationship with someone just because we need them (such as a cleaning lady, or a family doctor) then when that need has been fulfilled the relationship ends. Your connection is dependent on them providing a service, and will only last as long as that service is needed. When we have a relationship with someone simply because we want to, because we have chosen to connect to them, then that bond is intrinsic. We don't love them because of what they do for us, we love them for who they are — and that is forever.
God chose to bring us into being as a pure act of love. That is the test of true love: if my beloved could no longer provide me with my needs, would I still love them just for being my beloved?
Perfectionism is a personality trait that involves unrealistic expectations for oneself or others. In addition to this philosophy, a perfectionist is characterized as someone overly critical of one's own behavior. This can prove harmful and detrimental to one's own well-being as it may cause anxiety, depression, eating disorders and lowered self-worth.
You can tell from their demeanor with the following behaviors:
- All or nothing perception
- Highly critical
- Fueled by fear
- Unrealistic personal value and standards
- Only focused on results
- High achiever
- Self-oriented perfectionism: Imposing an irrational desire to be perfect on oneself.
- Other-oriented perfectionism: Placing unrealistic standards of perfection on others.
- Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Perceiving excessive expectations of perfection from others.
- You are not God - stop judging others
- You are not Jesus - stop using his name in vain and bearing false witness stating, "Jesus said this!" - no, no he did not.
- You are a Gentile - stop putting yourself on a pedestal that never belonged to you. Learn from the Jews, God's chosen people.
- The first is the least important: the acquisition of material wealth.
- The second kind of perfection relates more closely to one's actual being: namely, physical perfection.
- The third kind of perfection more closely addresses our unique status as human beings: moral perfection.
- The fourth, and highest, form of perfection, is the true perfection of a human being: intellectual perfection, which leads us to a true understanding of God. This kind of perfection affects a person directly and inherently. The first three kinds of perfection do not ultimately belong to a person but this one does, as King Solomon wrote, "These will be for you alone, and not for strangers with you" (Proverbs 5:17). Therefore, pursuit of this kind of perfection should be a person's primary goal, rather than tiring ourselves out in pursuit of things we don't actually own. Unfortunately, too many people pursue the kinds of perfection that do not elevate them spiritually and they completely ignore the one kind that does.
The Hebrew word "chachma" (generally translated as "wisdom") can mean four different things, and the Rambam provides a few examples of each. [III, 54] - It can mean knowledge of truths that bring us to knowledge of God (as in Job 28:12 and Proverbs 2:4); this is how we use it most often.
- It can also mean skill in a particular craft, as used in Exodus 35:10 and 35:25, when referring to the craftsmen and women who built the Mishkan (Tabernacle).
- Chachma can refer to moral values, as in Psalms 105:22 and Job 12:12.
- Finally, the word can mean cunning, as it does in Jeremiah 4:22 and Exodus 1:10 (a familiar verse that speaks of the Egyptians "dealing wisely" with the Jews by enslaving them).
Following these four meanings, a person who has mastered the Torah is considered wise in two senses, namely the first and the third. Such a person is wise in that the Torah teaches him profound truths, plus it instructs him in good morals. The truths in the Torah, however, are not taught using the same methods as philosophy. Rather, they are taught as a received tradition. Wisdom is then used to investigate and prove to ourselves the accuracy of these received truths. This is what Tanach is referring to whenever it praises wisdom and says that wisdom is rare (as in Job 32:9, "Not many are wise"). The Sages likewise differentiate between mere knowledge and true wisdom.
God does not expect us to be perfect. If we were perfect, we would not have received the Torah. The Torah is a mission from God to be performed on God's behalf. That's why the Torah was in the angelic realm. An angel is an agent for God appointed to perform a divine mission. Man also has the opportunity to perform a mission on behalf of God. Accepting the Torah means you are accepting a Divine mission. You become a Divine agent. According to Jewish law, if you appoint someone to be your agent, he is equipotent to yourself. You have given him your power of attorney, to act on your behalf. This is the amazing power, responsibility, and privilege entrusted to us through Torah.
To accept Torah, you must have a tremendous amount of self-esteem. You must believe that you are worthy to be God's agent on Earth -- you were sent here to fulfill a sacred mission. The message of Shavuot is: You are important and significant to God. You have been given the opportunity to represent the Almighty. You have been entrusted with His power of attorney to act on his behalf.
Every human being has the potential to be an agent and vehicle for God. Everything we do can be for God's sake. This is the greatest honor and pleasure a person could experience. To live for myself is no great honor, but to live for God, to choose goodness for God's sake -- this is Heaven on Earth.
Here in America we live under the tyranny of perfection. We are constantly being sold glossy images of people with perfect bodies, perfect résumés, and perfect lifestyles. Convincing people of their inadequacy in relation to these paragons of physical, intellectual, moral, and aesthetic perfection has always been a good racket, but never more so than today.
I may be a perfectionist, but if I had not stopped being a little shit, I wouldn't be here telling you what I've learned.
